CLEVELAND--Quicken Loans Arena building manager, Brutus Mung, has recently been taken into custody when it was discovered that he had built a trap door into the floor of the arena in hopes of ensnaring returning basketball player Lebron James.
Owner Dan Gilbert was allegedly not involved with the bizarre scheme. "I had no idea that this was happening, and I trusted Brutus to get the job done, er....get his job done," Gilbert said.
The plan was for Lebron to enter center court for a "special announcement" where the Cavs would drop the floor out from under him. He would then fall into a vat of specially concocted formula that would drain him of his talent, money, and desire to live.
-Perry Winkler
